you saw it here first

title and signatures by jane hammond

1.
PANCAKE (II)
sizzle, sizzle,   flip,
sizzle, sizzle,
flop onto my plate,
into my belly by way of fork
and assisted by butter knife.
passed by player twelve and forty-seven.
the field is ceramic and white
with puddles of syrup.

the last bite is always soggy.
[signed by “Long-Haired Avatar”]

2.
BACON
three sultry strips of bacon,
the pig fat fried off left extra crispy
   how i like it—
   a one night stand
in Amsterdam
[signed by “Love You in the Morning”]

3.
CHOCOLATE
one very wonderful chocolate doughnut
glazed with a sugar compound
and carefully aged→for 38 minutes←on my window sill
cold and soft with a crispy sugary shell
chocolate doughnut, I love you
you love me, I eat you
and you do not love me anymore
[signed by “Freezer Burn”]

*alternate version appears below

4.
PIZZA
pizza can so be a breakfast food if it's cold!  don't
fool me, don't battle me.  i'll eat what i want, he
ain't got no butta!  i saw a sign on a bus that told
me the best thing for breakfast is a nicotine patch.
i do not believe this.  i believe that pizza is a much
wiser choice.  i am composing this, i am composing
this on mary's computer, i should ask mary if she'd
ever eat pizza for breakfast..."only cold pizza for
breakfast" i am so good.
[signed by “The Hagiography of This Moment”]

5.
PEAS
do
not
eat
peas
they are       evil
they are not good for dinner
or dessert
they are not dessert
and they are not breakfast
they are only  evil
do
not
eat
them
ever!
[signed by “The Peace Plan”]

6.
DINA
i picked a daffodil
and gave it to Dina.
she ate it.
i don't know how nutritious a yellow
flower really is  but i wouldn't think
to eat one for breakfast
though  it was evening when she ate it,
so i guess it’s not the same.
[signed by “The Friendly Sea”]

7.
NOT ORANGE JUICE
spunky orange drink a citrusy blend   of citrus fruits
enhances with vitamins  A, C, D, and E
for your ever growing mind  child.
A cartoon drink in a slipper glass.
Refill, half-full, with a little
extra fun on the top…  the stuff  that  stays   on  your lips.
[signed by “Confessions of a Fop”]

8.
[ODE TO] WAFFLE OFF
when them nasty waffles start gettin' to ya
spray'em with some waffle off
then they'll start keelin' over right before yer very eyes
one or two might land in a sticky puddle
of vermont made maple syrup
that's been carried south by the clouds and wind
then some soulless squirrels with forks
of all different shapes and size
some two pronged, some three or four pronged
and they'll start munchin' on the nasty waffles
that you got dead with yer waffle off

[available in convenient pocket sized cans
as well as family sized and standard sized cans]
[signed by “A Parliament of Refrigerator Magnets”]

9.
CHEERIOS
one bowl of cheerios
laced with fine white—sunk to the bottom—
grains
of sugar.
finely harvested
O's of grains
loitering in a plastic bowl
sopping up 2% milk
98% un-milk
and swallowed whole by a giant.
[signed by “Man Overboard”]

10.
FORK
there once was a fork from the Malookas [though you'll have
to ask rohrer about that place, i've never been myself] that
glowed like a dog's collar.  i ate with it once, what a
wonderful date, we had breakfast together, the fork and i.
the thing was, however, that the fork became extremely
offended when i picked up another fork to eat my eggs, and
so i had to use only a spoon.  the fork hardly ate a thing.
the breakfast was great [thanks for the free refills of
decaffeinated coffee].  after the meal the fork and i went
back to my place.  nothing happened.  the fork just kept
on glowing; never took it off.
[signed by “Long Black German Heels and Back Areas”]

11.
PEACH
Precious
Ripe little fruit
Every
Sip
I [the pronoun]
Dig into is
Ecstasy to my
Nervous
Tongue
So ner.
[signed by “Mad Elge”]


12.
BEE TEA
there's a giant bee in my room
he's trying to get out  but he can't find
the little hole he came in from

so i put the last of my tea on the ledge
for my friend [the bee] to drink

he played around the edge of the cup
for a minute or two

but i guess he doesn't really care
for raspberry flavored tea.
[signed by “A Scratched Itch”]

13.
JAM ON
English muffin or toast--
the whole point is the jam.
orange, purple or red?
it all just goops on... sticking
to its bready bed like a dirty baby.
then you eat it! What!?
crunch and slop, slurp and chomp
that's it  [i've seen enough]
[signed by “Irregular Plural”]

14.
TOAST
it’s been done already.
[signed by “The Human Condition Revisited”]

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*translated by drook

 Un beignet de chocolat très merveilleux
glacé avec un composé de sucre
et soigneusement vieilli »pour trente-huit« minutes
      sur mon sill de fenêtre
froid et doux avec une coquille de sugary
      croustillant,
beignet de chocolat,
je vous aime. Vous m'aimez.
Je vous mange et vous ne m'aimez plus.