Monday, February 26, 2018


Facebook has become the place where I write to my friends and keep a time capsule of what is happening. But I also want to keep a time capsule here, because it's so much easier to navigate, and it's all mine. It helped so much to have this post about when we got Jack and Rowdy in 2007.

So here is what I wrote on facebook on February 23rd 2018, the day after Jack got too sick to save...

"thank you to everyone who has shown sympathy and compassion to Ryan and me over the last 24 hours. they've been hard. Jack left a huge gap in our regular routine and a big fluffy hole in our hearts that will take some time to heal. we changed our every move at home to accommodate jack's health struggles, his comfort, and to limit his stress as much as possible. last night and this morning really drove all that home. all those changes. the layers of washable blankets over all the places he would rest, the oodles of medicines he had to take in all the different methods, watching where we walk and scoping out whatever accidents we'd need to clean up. I did laundry almost every day this year. we bought a carpet cleaning machine. we would sit for hours accumulative throughout the day feeding him and sitting with him to encourage him to eat. we slept with fairy lights on so we could help him get to the litter in the middle of the night without having to reach for a light first. we slept in odd shapes so jack would be as comfortable as possible. we paid hundreds of dollars on medicine, special food, and vet visits to make sure jack got everything he needed at all times. it's been an intense few months. Liz, Mike, Jerry, Josh can attest to how long and detailed the care instructions were when we went away for christmas. thank you all for helping us care for Jack.

now... there's a bunch of left over prescription food and medicines. there are blankets everywhere that smell like him that he'll never hide under again. there are A1 amazon boxes that we kept around just in case, even though since November he only sat in one very briefly. they used to be his favorite place to sleep. there was no purr-snoring or uncomfortable grunts as we tried to fall asleep last night. there was no one shouting "meck" at me from the kitchen as I closed the door to leave for work. we didn't have to put Rowdy and Alli's dry food away after they ate their fill because we didn't need to worry about Jack sneaking a piece of food he shouldn't eat.

now... there are these memories. these big, fluffy, loud memories of One Eyed Jack, the cat who charmed everyone he met. the cat who loved us all so unconditionally. the cat who let me rub my face in his belly when i was feeling sad and who made me feel better every single time. the cat who just a picture of him was enough to make friends feel better over text message. the cat who could move completely silently so you'd turn around and be spooked that he was there, or could stomp his feet so loud you could hear him from the other room when he wanted you to know he was looking for something to eat. the cat who, when he played, was so damn goofy you had to laugh at him. the cat who attempted whole-heartily to steal an entire box of pizza in front of a crowd of people. the cat who stole hot wings, and ate all the frosting off a lemon cake. the Jack-a-ron who "helped" me make macarons by taste testing all the green ones. the cat who purred at the vets. the cat who was so fluffy and fuzzy that even at his dirtiest was still soooo soft and fluffy.

i miss the smell behind his ears and the sound of his purr. i miss being followed around the house by him. i miss our little conversations. i'm going to miss shouting at him and rowdy for fighting. i'm going to miss cleaning up all the mess he made while eating because he only had four teeth. i am going to miss him drooling on my hand as he uses it as a pillow to fall asleep on while on my lap. i am going to miss the excitement of having two cats on my lap at once. i am going to miss the little "bbrrrp" he made every time he jumped. i am going to miss the eagerness behind every boop to the nose. i even miss the stress and worry of making sure he is okay and comfortable because it was such a purpose, a cause, a drive.

i miss him. a lot of people will. he was special. he is special. he had a hard start to life, he fought hard at the end. i know we gave him so many soft places to sleep and play. we gave him warmth and comfort and happiness. and he showed us his gratitude constantly. it was an amazing eleven years we had together. amazing and wonderful and awesome. i wouldn't trade a second of the joy and love, no matter how much missing him hurts.

i love you Jackie. I always will. xoxo"

A lot of people responded to this post, the post i put on the wonderful podcast page, and to ryan and my shorter posts on the 22nd.

I miss so much about Jack. 

He was so present, so aware, so fluffy, and so caring. He was our therapy cat, and was therapy for so many of our friends who visited. Everyone loved him. There was something so special about him.

I am sure I will write more soon.

One Eyed Jack Acheson, July 2006 to February 22nd 2018. 

Thursday, February 22, 2018

life is fragile

but Jack was so strong

Friday, February 02, 2018

FABLE for Sale

Hi All! During most of last year, I worked on putting together a little collection of poems that I called FABLE.

Support independent publishing: Buy this book on Lulu.

Many of the poems appear on this blog as first drafts (most from many years ago), but have taken a new form in FABLE. Maybe you'll check it out?

Ebook is in the works, but might be a while. I have a lot of learning to do when it comes to the formatting for that.

Artwork is by my awesome bro, Mike Regan.