thanks for nothing anonymous commenter

in reply to this post

Anonymous said...
Is thát why..

getting to know you as a writer on WET - a cool, sexy poetess - I wondered what happened to her?
There's now a girlie housewife obsessed with weight and loss - nothing cool or sexy anymore - where's your life ?

*****

my first gut reaction to this comment is anger. i typed out a variety outraged responses, non of which i posted, but decided it would be much better for me to lay my full response out where everyone will see it.

let's start with "getting to know you as a writer on WET". aside, possibly, from craig, no one on wet poems got to know me through those poems. the blog was dedicated to a very specific, very sexy genre of poems; all of which are only a small component in the whole me (both as a poet and a person).

"what happened to her?"
someone deleted the blog. thanks for that, now all those poems i posted are lost.

not much of the first bit of the comment bothered me too much. as much as i'd still like to have that outlet, i can do the same work here when i chose. it also taught me to be a bit more careful about saving my work. a lesson that needed learning (and still needs a bit of teaching... i can be a bit careless with my work).

what really upsets me about the comment is the description: "girlie housewife obsessed with weight and loss".

the world obsessed to me is one of those extreme descriptors which only sounds appropriate or acceptable coming from the mouth of the person it describes. i could say "i'm obsessed with cupcakes" and mean it in an admitting and playful way; whereas, if one of my friends were to say it, i would likely take it accusingly--as an offense. i don't think you can tell someone they are obsessed with something without implying that the obsession is a problem and should be fixed.

obsessed with weight. no. concerned about my physical well-being, health and confidence? definitely. though the numbers do signify what is healthy for me and what is not, the weight i chose to reach on weight watchers was decided by what their books say is a healthy weight for my age and height.

obsessed with loss. can you call the loss of a family member an obsession? especially considering he only passes away a month ago. considering too, that this was my first major loss. i don't think you can call this an obsession.

not sexy anymore?
i guess not so much in my poetry any more, now that i can strut this around instead of lose myself in fantasy. i've not had to fill the gap as much now that i've become more comfortable with myself as a physical entity.

and finally, where is my life? do you want a laundry list of my daily activities or just a general overview?

although this comment doesn't warrant this response, and although i admit i'm too angry to really be writing this at all (trying to keep myself from saying too much), this is part of what i'm dealing with right now, in trying to open up and talk about my reactions to people and events. this is the sort of comment i usually allow to go without response. at most, i may have deleted. but really, i'm hurt by the comment, by the tone and the implications and i can't let that rest inside me.

so... thank you, anonymous, for making me feel even more insecure about sharing my emotions and thoughts with the people who chose to read my blog. and just when i was starting to feel a bit better about having shared all those deep-seeded, emotional struggles.

if you'd rather read a lot of sexy poetry, try another site.