Thursday, February 09, 2006

the whole lot's under consideration now

[[arch, sorry i spoilt the trick. also, sorry to let you know that this (in conjunction with strickly tasting and halogen) is under renovation at this very moment. i'll post the new version in a new post when it's ready.]]

i imagine him naked and panting,
breathing his stench into my pillow―loving it―
his chest rising and falling like a sleeping dragon
and i curl around him, soaking up his sweat.

my deviant beast, strictly tasting his way
until the light from the bathroom flickers;
the clink of the bulb interrupting him from this ritual.

beside me now lies a gentleman. his hair matted,
his beard showing through, his breath shallow,
his chest still sticky with sweat.


[title suggestions; boys, i need your help here]

8 comments:

Morris said...

Very nice work!

Mr. Morris
Ask Morris

Brian Boutwell said...

I've sent you an e-mail.

--

swejwl

The red ones are always the easiest. I feel cheated.

katy said...

oh dear, brian, is that bad?

Mr. Matos said...

This poem makes me think of a song called "Freak Me" by Another Level.

I'll send it to you if you remind me.

So, you should call this poem "Don't Sweat the Small Stuff, Just Sweat All Over Me."

arch.memory said...

First of all, I somehow wish this and "halogen" were more separate (especially not sharing the gorgeous "breathing his stench into...pillow ―/ loving it" line). I'm not sure which one should get it, though. This is more coherent than "halogen", which makes me think it deserves it more; but that also makes me think "halogen" needs it more.
Excellent reuse of the first stanza from "strictly tasting"; beautiful first line. (However, I now wish "strictly tasting" would go back to draft mode; I'd rather not see the conjuring trick.) As for title, I would vote for "strictly tasting". For this one. (If not, "sleeping dragon"? Though that sounds too much like a 90s economic metaphor to China...)

Mr. Matos said...

FREAKNASTY SHIT FOR MY HOMEGIRL KATY

katy said...

aww, am a homegirl now. makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside.

katy said...

eyeqa

green, squiggley, irresistible.