Thursday, February 16, 2006

the hotel gospel

book of water; verse 1

on the day 16 on the month 2 on the year 2 past the birth of the fish the water will come. the bells of his lord will ring and ears bleed. for thee, creatures of hoteldom, have not sacrificed sufficiently in your demolishing of the universe wherebyin our lord rules! upon the bells the antifreeze--which the lord hath paid over $4000 for and given you to save lives if flame demons hath risen upon you--will pour from the indoor skies over the place of thyn high priestess and holy rulers residing. judge them, you pedestrians of poolside bliss! judge them, you savages of free breakfast! judge them, you peddlers of pamphlets and baked goods! judge them! fore, in these hours they doth prevail. as so it has been foreseen, you must learn from them. the high priestess will be tempted and she will reject the temptations. you, reject your temptations. humility be learned on this day! the high rulers shall begot hands and knees with great heavenly sponges and liquid detergent to clean the holy walking grounds of new comers! behold! they suffer for your enjoyment, peddlers, beggars, savages and brutes! behold! they suffer for you!

upon the remaking of the world all shall learn. but let it be said that the stentch will remain for an age so thoust might never forget the day!

[you'll have to excuse me, i've not read the bible, nor any other significant religious texts. note: this gospel tells if a very true tale. the tale of which i, the high priestess, have survived.]


arch.memory said...

Blessed be thy humor, oh mighty priestess, for thou hast made me all but crack up at my place of labor!

(LOVE it!)

katy said...

dear lord of hoteldom please relieve us of this stentch-nasty grossness smelling! fore in comparison to the dying of thyn nose, coffee even has an aire of pleasure in it!

for heaven'sake, this place reeks!