Wednesday, February 08, 2006

strictly tasting

we defied everyone, at least once;
splitting grapefruit with samurai swords
and yelling like children on table tops.

i was in italy when i had my first real drink.
i told you about it in the same email
that i sent my father, denouncing tequila for life.

we wanted to be real native americans
so we ate beef jerky, drove around in an old pick-up
and wore coats with sheep-like wool lining.

strictly tasting, i imagine him naked and panting,
his chest rising and falling like a sleeping dragon
and i curl around him, soaking up his sweat.

4 comments:

katy said...

cop-out or disclaimer? either way, brian just pointed out to me that the first three stanzas aren't anything like as good as the last one, and i agree. however; (here's the disclaimer part) i'm not going to mess about with this poem because i wasn't even going to write it in the first place. if anything that last stanza might end up in a different poem altogether.

what i was trying to do, i suppose, with "stricly tasting" was a sort of minuature My Life. or something... growing up.

my favorite stanza is the only one that isn't based on any truth, that being the first one (here she goes, disclosing too much), but it doesn't fit with the others, and i couldn't come up with anything else like it, and didn't feel like putting up a three-line poem because i write too many of those already, they don't need encouraging.

sigh

Mr. Matos said...

I like all of the ideas presented in this, but maybe it's too ambiguous and disjointed.

You could definitely plunder this piece for future poetry, though.

AND --

Cop-outs and disclaimers are allowed in the development process!

More poetry from Katy, please.

katy said...

... i'm trying, enriko. everyday, i'm trying.

thank you for supporting my cop-out/disclaimer! and yes, you'll most likely see at least one of these sections again somewhere else.

arch.memory said...

I like the breath of the poem, but I'm not sure about the content. Forced? Disjointed? Probably.
(By the way, I don't think I told you this when you asked, but I love your avatar.)