hotel science series (still going)

hotel science XXI

if you overture with a log
the size of the great roman empire

and follow it with an entire roll
of paper

the toilet will most certainly
become clogged.

figuring this out does not
require a scientist.

hotel science XXII

if there are 67 rooms in a hotel--
each of them occupied
(by an average of 2 adults & 2 children)--
then they will consume
approximately

14 pots of regular coffee
2 pots of decaffeinate coffee
30 cinnamon buns
38 bagels (of various flavors)
25 muffins
4 gallons of milk
an immeasurable amount of juice and cereal
(not together... usually)
18 cups of tea
and ridiculous amounts
of sugar, jelly, butter
and cream cheese packets.


we thus conclude that hotel guests,
when contained in large quantities,
possess a neurological response
to crowds which includes consumption
of an unnatural and grotesque amount
of carbohydrate and caffeine.

hotel science XXIII

two quarters, two pennies and one dime
do not equal one dollar
no matter how one arranges the coins
on a front desk counter top.

hotel science XXIV

Quarters Do Not Grow On Trees


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