i am a pencil wielding sci-fi princess
drawing maps of make-believe solar systems
wherein frank o'hara never died, never grew old,
and liked girls as much as boys.
or
i am a little girl with a poetry fetish;
all three of matthew rohrer's collections
hidden under my pillow for safe keeping
while i day-dream about being mina loy
and having dinner with louise zukofsky.
or
i am one half of a comfortable partnership,
non threatening, always smiling and always there.
i am pacing a hotel lobby, biting my lips
in deep thought; fueled by some alien energy,
something other than coffee.
or
i am a lower case k. i am a picture
of a doll with black hair, green eyes
and moods that are determined by my stomach.
i am in love with him, with life, with dreams,
with robots, with leonard cohen, and with you.
-------------------
inspired by and dedicated to a.; this is what you get for calling me cute.
-------------------
NOTES on 1/30/06
about i-am
i have considered, brian, everything noted in your comments and email. i completely agree with droping the i-am before fueled in the 3rd stanza and have edited some of the punctuation to accomidate the change there. as far as the rest of the i-am's are concerned (especially the ones placed mid-stanza) they are part of the cadance, i feel. i will continue to reread it to myself, and perhaps bring the matter to tcp, but for the mean time, this is the draft that's sticking. thank you for giving me your input; you are oh so helpful and encouraging, i can't thank you enough, really.
14 comments:
I love it! Submit.
--
svonn
Might fare well here:
http://www.opencity.org/
--
vqdbueyi
This is just a suggestion to cut back on some the "i am's"
i am a pencil wielding sci-fi princess
drawing maps of make-believe solar systems
wherein frank o'hara never died, never grew old,
and liked girls as much as boys.
or
a little girl with a poetry fetish;
all three of matthew rohrer's collections
hidden under my pillow for safe keeping
while i day-dream about being mina loy
and having dinner with louise zukofsky.
or
one half of a comfortable partnership,
non threatening, always smiling and always there.
i am pacing a hotel lobby, biting my lips
in deep thought, fueled by some alien energy--
something other than coffee.
or
i am a lower case k. a picture
of a doll with black hair, green eyes
and moods that are determined by my stomach.
i am in love with him, with life, with dreams,
with robots, with leonard cohen, and with you.
--
umtojx
do you think i really ought to cut down on the i am's? i sort of like'em.
am on my way to check out opencity place.
thank you brian :)
-----
afadh
Dunno. Just a thought.
--
huhue
hmmn opencity... should i not wait to finish the hotel science series and submit both? could be worth a shot!!
-----
and this is my favorite so far...
psyasrb (oh! blue squiggly ones)
Yes, definately.
This poem just got me a bit excited. haha
--
kouuopvx
mine are always green and squiggly.
we wait then, good. i'm excited that it got you excited though! thank you.
-----
lqbppgfe (must be welch; notice lack of vowels)
(green and squiggley, for you)
thank you enriko! (should i call it "the imaginary me" or "honest and lovely"? i got a bit confused, you can see.)
-----
auusqsl (french?)
i couldn't let this one go...
ajbfnier
If this is what I get for calling you cute, I should be more honest more often! Thank you, katy, this is beautiful. (And here is a little something for you).
PS: I am always amazed at Brian's ability to come up with such specific detailed suggestions; from my lazy point of view, it's always perfect!
can i call it
enriko think's i'm gonna be famous
?
-----
zzgjxz
erm, that was me, not this "anonymous" person. i thought i was logged in (silly girl)
zokfczy (green squiggley word verification) looks so much like zukofsky. blogger knows.
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