Sunday, January 29, 2006

the hotel science series (some more)

hotel science XV

the correct pattern to follow
when folding a pool towel
is as follows:

1) fold in half "the long way"

2) fold in half again "the same way"

3) fold in thirds "the other way"

so that the pigmented stripe
is parallel to the length
of the towel when folded.

hotel science XVI

through mathematical tribulations
we have concluded that
it is more cost effective
to purchase 4 post cards for $1
than it is to buy 3 post cards
at 30 cents a piece.

hotel science XVII

condensation on glass windows
surrounding the indoor pool
will occur if:

a) the jacuzzi has been at full bubble
for 1.32 hours or longer.

b) there is equal to or greater than 32
breathing humans in the surrounding area
for 47 minutes or longer.

or

c) both instances a and b occur
simultaneously.


hotel science XVIII

the frequency of a squeaky wheel
on a housekeeping cart is

cosine3 over 3x
if x equals the wick of the carpet.*


hotel science XIX

8 test subjects were selected at random
and asked to operate a toaster
with their choice of bread or bagel.

2 of our subjects chose bread.
6 of our subjects chose bagel.
4 of our subjects could not
get their desired product to toast.
1 of our subjects cursed at the toaster.
1 of our subjects toasted 2 bagels at once.
2 of our subjects asked for assistance
in operating the toaster.

the results have been compiled
and we conclude that

a) more people prefer bagels than do toast

and

b) our toasters are too advanced
for the average hotel guest.

hotel science XX

hotel-room key-cards
have a consistent depleasion rate
of 9 percent.



*please note: i have not taken a maths course in... hold on let me count... 4 years; therefore, this is not in any way a real equation (that i know of) and is probably embarrassingly incoherent.

9 comments:

katy said...

i am on fire today. this is post #100! happy birthday, blog!


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kmsol

Kilgannon said...

I have trouble folding absoloutley everything, i have to ask my mother to help me...i'm just a child, aren't i? I'd be terrible in a hotel, i know how those people with the advanced toaster problems feel.

Happy Birthday!!

katy said...

thanks killer!

everyone has problems with the toasters... except that guy that did two bagels at once. would you chose bagel or bread?

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uaisr

Kilgannon said...

Well i've never had a bagel in my life, so it depends if i'm feeling adventurous that day or not, but then there's the problem of how would one exactly go about toasting a bagel after choosing? Is it exactly the same as toasting bread? I don't know.

katy said...

i know they have bagels in manc, go out and get one! oh and yes, it is exactly the same as toasting bread.

(there's a nice little cafe thingy in exchange quay that do good bagels and cream cheese. if you're ever in that block of office buildings, i'd reccomend it highly.)


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lgrcruu

Kilgannon said...

I'll give it a looksie! My work is pretty close to sainsbury's though, so i could just nip in there too!

Brian Boutwell said...

katy, these are some of the best ones.

--

cffzzyc

arch.memory said...

You are on fire today! Woah!

katy said...

thank you brian. i'm sure there are a few more to be discovered, but we're getting up there in number now, shouldn't you start picking and choosing?


and ashraf, my dearest, thanks for you know. :)

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ousabw