Monday, July 13, 2009

thanks for nothing anonymous commenter

in reply to this post

Anonymous said...
Is thát why..

getting to know you as a writer on WET - a cool, sexy poetess - I wondered what happened to her?
There's now a girlie housewife obsessed with weight and loss - nothing cool or sexy anymore - where's your life ?

*****

my first gut reaction to this comment is anger. i typed out a variety outraged responses, non of which i posted, but decided it would be much better for me to lay my full response out where everyone will see it.

let's start with "getting to know you as a writer on WET". aside, possibly, from craig, no one on wet poems got to know me through those poems. the blog was dedicated to a very specific, very sexy genre of poems; all of which are only a small component in the whole me (both as a poet and a person).

"what happened to her?"
someone deleted the blog. thanks for that, now all those poems i posted are lost.

not much of the first bit of the comment bothered me too much. as much as i'd still like to have that outlet, i can do the same work here when i chose. it also taught me to be a bit more careful about saving my work. a lesson that needed learning (and still needs a bit of teaching... i can be a bit careless with my work).

what really upsets me about the comment is the description: "girlie housewife obsessed with weight and loss".

the world obsessed to me is one of those extreme descriptors which only sounds appropriate or acceptable coming from the mouth of the person it describes. i could say "i'm obsessed with cupcakes" and mean it in an admitting and playful way; whereas, if one of my friends were to say it, i would likely take it accusingly--as an offense. i don't think you can tell someone they are obsessed with something without implying that the obsession is a problem and should be fixed.

obsessed with weight. no. concerned about my physical well-being, health and confidence? definitely. though the numbers do signify what is healthy for me and what is not, the weight i chose to reach on weight watchers was decided by what their books say is a healthy weight for my age and height.

obsessed with loss. can you call the loss of a family member an obsession? especially considering he only passes away a month ago. considering too, that this was my first major loss. i don't think you can call this an obsession.

not sexy anymore?
i guess not so much in my poetry any more, now that i can strut this around instead of lose myself in fantasy. i've not had to fill the gap as much now that i've become more comfortable with myself as a physical entity.

and finally, where is my life? do you want a laundry list of my daily activities or just a general overview?

although this comment doesn't warrant this response, and although i admit i'm too angry to really be writing this at all (trying to keep myself from saying too much), this is part of what i'm dealing with right now, in trying to open up and talk about my reactions to people and events. this is the sort of comment i usually allow to go without response. at most, i may have deleted. but really, i'm hurt by the comment, by the tone and the implications and i can't let that rest inside me.

so... thank you, anonymous, for making me feel even more insecure about sharing my emotions and thoughts with the people who chose to read my blog. and just when i was starting to feel a bit better about having shared all those deep-seeded, emotional struggles.

if you'd rather read a lot of sexy poetry, try another site.

10 comments:

arch.memory said...

Dear,
I'm sorry you have to put up with petty and stupid comments like that; but I guess it's a risk of the "publicness" of this medium.. Still, comments like that are why I decided to moderate comments on my blog, because I realized that people all too readily indulge their base nature when hiding behind the cloak of anonymity. Such a pity..
PS: Loved your response to "not sexy anymore?" ;)

Girlcreeture said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Girlcreeture said...

Sorry! I hate grammatical errors >__<

Anyway:
.
.
.
Fuck Anonymous, he/she don't know shit and if they did they wouldn't have been such a coward with their opinions.

Words from people who hide are a waste of precious space on Something Katy - a place made by a perfectly perfect person who is sweet enough to share.

I love you Katy, whether you you are "obsessed" with cupcakes or anything else.

katy said...

ashraf, michelle... thank you. so much.

Jenni B. said...

Ah! I just saw this.

I'm sorry that someone felt the need to come onto your blog -- YOUR blog -- and make a very unkind and untoward comment. It's like coming home to find that someone has secretly been reading your journal and has taken a magic marker and scribbled something nasty in it without you knowing.

Also, the danger of blogs is that they paint a superficial picture of that person based on the selective things that s/he writes about. To people who don't know you in real life, you become and are defined what you most frequently write. There's no 3-D in blogging.

To state the obvious, this person is probably jealous and wishes they had a loving marriage and chance to eat cupcakes and write pretty poems.

plagiarize said...

The reality is absolutely better than any fantasy. There's really nothing else I think I need to say.

El said...

I hope this posts ok. I'm new to this.

I want to add some words because it's wrong to see a sweet person unhappy. Sweet people should be happy all the time. Even in the face of those numptys on the internet who choose to be horrible mumble-grumbles.

I wish I had an easy way for you to be happy happy. I only know how I get through thingys when I'm down. I remember that there's always something wonderful coming.
We never know when it'll come. Or what it'll be. That'd ruin the surprise. But it'll be here, so look out for it.

Nicole said...

I thought I commented on this. ahh alas i didn't because I was about ready to flip.

some people suck so badly that they have to project their sucky self loathing to others.

you are lovely and this anon sucks.

beth said...

Perfect response, Katy. I don't know what that person was thinking. I agree with Jenni that there may be a jealousy issue. Also, that person seems to have really loved your poems on the other site, and felt (wrongly) that he/she knew you because of them - and maybe some sense of ownership over you because of some perhaps psychotic fan tendencies? I don't know - just seems awfully irrational to post a comment on your blog insulting you because he or she thinks you have changed. And because they want you to write sexy poems only, no less. Your response shows that (obviously) you know a hell of a lot more about yourself than this anonymous person does, so screw em....

Lizzy said...

well, i know this is an old post, and this is a far belated responce,

but you're a cool, sexy, smart, creative, and fun poet/wife/friend/woman, and, well, I could really add 50 more wonderful words to describe you... so, if you need a pick me up, give me a call!

Also, I dont think you should stop sharing your opinions, responces and feelings just because some idiot is a perv who likes only one type of poetry and decides to say stupid things to you because he sucks at life.

you do not suck at life. There for, do what you want to do and screw all the objectors!

Love you lots lovely. I know im not good with words and motivational pep talks, but im sure you get my point. xoxo