Wednesday, May 27, 2009

coming out of the cupbaord

Today, I became a Lifetime Member of Weight Watchers.

I started Weight Watchers in October of 2008. I weighed almost 180. And no amount of Wii Fit was going to help because I didn't know what I was doing when it came to food. I didn't care what I was doing with food. I just ate it.

Seeing pictures of myself made me feel disgusted with the way I looked. My self confidence was null. I was always dressing to cover up embarrassing curves and bulges. It got to the point where I was always thinking about my weight, always negative, and always hiding.

At the point where my confidence (or lack there of) started effecting my relationship with Ryan, I decided to do something. My doctor was the one who recommended Weight Watchers as a solution to my weight concerns.

Within a week of seeing my doctor, I attended my first meeting. I've gone every single week since then (except for the two weeks we spent in Japan). I went through rain, snow, sickness, and even made it the day my car wouldn't start thanks to Ryan.

I lost 30 pounds and am now a healthy 140. My dress size went from a 12-14 to a 6-8! That confidence I'd lost? Back. I feel fantastic. I even bought my very first bikini (always been a tankini or one-piece kinda girl). I have a little jean mini skirt that I love.
But it hasn't been easy. You can't just go to meetings and viola! The way I eat is so different now. Since starting, my relationship with food and the way I think about has changed drastically. For a starter, I actually THINK about what I'm eating.

You may have noticed more posts about food (cupcakes in particular) and you're thinking... hold on here... she's a cupcake fiend, how'd she lose weight!?

Weight Watchers doesn't limit what you can eat. I can have all the cupcakes I want as long as I count them. When I say count, I'm referring to the daily and weekly points system that Weight Watchers uses to help track your food intake.

The difference between the way I used to enjoy cupcakes, and the way I enjoy them now, is so different. Instead of just eating them, I bake them. From scratch. I make the batter, the frosting, everything. The process of baking and decorating (especially with friends) is so much more rewarding than just chomping. Having worked towards making the lovely cakes also means that by the time I get to eat mine, I enjoy it so much more than I would have otherwise because I've looked forward to it.

I don't just bake cupcakes though. I've learned to be more patient in the kitchen. Instead of going for a cereal bar or candy bar or whatever other kind of bar, I take my time to cut and cook vegetables. My breakfast is thought about, measured out, and carefully arranged for maximum pretty.

I take the time to look at the nutrition facts of everything I eat before I buy it at the store, and when I cook, I know everything that goes into my meals. Just that awareness alone is enough to motivate me into making healthy eating choices (which soon become habits, which soon manifest as positive weight loss).

I eat so many more fruits and veggies than I ever did before, and I love them. I've discovered tons of new, healthier ways to fix chocolate into my diet ^_^ which is very important. Just today I made myself a rhubarb crumble with low sugar oatmeal and honey. It's so good, a nice treat, and pretty good for me too.

Finally, I had support. My mom was/is a Weight Watcher so she knows all the rules I play by now (making dinner at her's really easy for me) and my husband is the most positive and support person I'll ever know. They, along with all the lovely women at my weekly meeting, helped me stay in the game, helped me lose weight and gain confidence.

Now that I've reached a stage where I hope to stay for as long as possible (for ever?), I thought it'd be a good time to let everyone know, and to encourage anyone who feels at odds with their image to do something about it. Weight Watchers is one option (a great one as far as I'm concerned), but that's not all there is. Just... go do something for yourself. It's worth it. You're worth it.


Jenni B. said...

Oh, I love this. Thank you for sharing! You've inspired me (unless laziness prevails) to write my own food and weight related post.


beth said...

Determination... I especially like you talking about the change in ways of looking at and thinking about food in order to eat healthier. Sexy pictures! :)

John said...

Really interesting stuff here, Katy. I'm glad that you took the time to write this. You're not only looking great, but I can tell that you are much happier than you were when I first met you.

My story is similar to yours, but it's more extreme and has played out over a longer period of time. I put on all kinds of fat consistently from age eight to seventeen, and weighed 312 pounds when it came time for my football physical at the end of my junior year of high school (June 2002).

I know exactly what you're saying about the pictures, which even an expert creeper like you will not find anywhere, and the clothing. I wore gigantic hooded sweatshirts to school every day. In fact, it blew me away when Katey told me those weren't allowed at New Bedford High -- I don't know what I would've done had I gone there.

Weight Watchers was also how I started to turn things around. I suspect their membership is overwhelmingly female, which y'all probably see as a positive, but I would recommend it to anyone. I've never been to any meetings, but the key was to begin to consciously examine the value of foods and beverages as you eat them.

There were some very elementary nutritional concepts that I completely didn't understand when I got started. For example, soda is bad for more than just your teeth. I had no idea that soda, or sugar, could cause weight gain. When I started keeping the journal, I was in complete disbelief that I had to log everything I ate. Those fistfuls of M & M's I had on the way out the door? Those don't count, do they? They do?!?! But that wasn't even a real snack!

I'm really interested in your approach. I'm much better at cooking than any of you realize, but I seldom do it because I impatiently snack while cooking and I almost always make huge portions. I eat lots of prepackaged things not because I'm lazy, but because I don't trust myself to make good decisions on ingredients and portions.

I find it nothing short of amazing that you've done all this while working at both a pizza parlor and an ice cream shop. I would never be able to do that.

Also, I wouldn't worry about the chocolate. Clearly, you're succeeding with it in your diet, so it isn't the problem. Chocolate is one of the few foods out there that isn't laced with additives and preservatives. Unrefined sugars and simple fats are much easier for the body to burn than fake science lab ingredients that humans aren't supposed to ingest.

If I keep this up, this comment will be longer than your post. But I'd like to talk to you about this sometime. It's refreshing to see a reasoned approach to weight loss pay off for someone -- there's so much snake oil out there.

I guess this means I have to do my own post now?