Friday, July 14, 2006

[i got given a copy of the bible today]

i got given a copy of the bible today -
the new testament (as a special gift)

________________ small and bound in plastic
carved to look like leather.

the men asked me which colour
_______ should we put in each of the 75 hotel rooms,

but they didn't have enough green.

they're coming back on thursday.

12 comments:

B Boutwell said...

i got given a copy of the bible
today—the new testament

(as a special gift) small and bound
in plastic, carved to look like leather.

the men asked me which colour
______should we put in each
____________of the 75 hotel rooms, but

they didn't have enough green.
they're coming back on thursday.

B Boutwell said...

I don't know why but I want to call this an objectivist poem. I think it has a hint of Neidecker in it, maybe. ;)

B Boutwell said...

[Nie]

katy said...

the fact that the [[[i]]] is present makes it wholly un-objective though.

B Boutwell said...

Not if the I is the object.

B Boutwell said...

[[[I]]]

B Boutwell said...

W.V. -- potzow

Bryan Coffelt said...

i like this one. it is subtle. i think you could make it even more subtle though.

the first two stanzas clash with the second two, because you go from specific to vague. i'd just keep it vague. i'd cut 'the new testament' and i'd cut '(as a special gift)' and i'd cut 'carved to look like leather'

B Boutwell said...

I don't think so.

ulxijlhhm -- something in this on was wrong. Damn blue squiggly.

B Boutwell said...

If anything I would cut "(as a special gift)," but I understand that as a Katy sentiment, so.

katy said...

"(as a special gift)" was an after thought, which is perhaps why it is a weaker part of the poem (the weakest?).

brian, not sure that "a katy sentiment" is a good enough excuse to leave it in ^__^ but thanks

B Boutwell said...

[i got given a copy of the bible today]

i got given a copy of the bible
today—the new testament

       small and bound in plastic,
       carved to look like leather.

the men asked me which colour
       should we put in each
             of the 75 hotel rooms, but

             they didn't have enough green.
             they're coming back on Thursday.