i did steal this line from a book so

for michelle

Part 1: Corpse Lasagna

the recipe calls
for unicorn hooves

and octopus suckers
baked at 350 for half an hour

Part 2: Miraculous Infinite Accidents

i burned my wrists
on the oven door

which is why i dropped the whole tray
of mythical creature corpse lasagna

so we're having bread
and salad for dinner

Part 3: How Do You Explain the Dead Unicorns

i didn't know what else
to do with the bodies

the recipe only called
for the hooves

Runner Up: No One Ever Explained the Octopuses
 
you act as though
you've never seen one before