our max

michelle took some beautiful pictures of maxerodenfoe a few weekends back and has put one, as well as a little tribute, up on her blog.
thanks michelle!

i guess an update on max's cancer condition is about due...

he's been doing really really well. we had, as you have seen, a wonderful christmas. unfortunately for our little orange wonder he's started to get sick again. the vet called yesterday to check up on him... from his blood test results she fears that his lymphoma may be coming out of remission. he's eating and drinking, but he's not been playful the past few days. he's sleeping a lot and not jumping around... a lot like when he got sick the first time around... before we knew what was wrong.

i'm hoping, after his xray and blood work and maybe chemo on friday afternoon, we'll know more and have a new path for his treatment.

here's hoping for the best.

((((max))))

adventure time!

still ringing

thanks billy!!

on the way to the heart

let her be
the thorn in your side

the tundra
and your decline

fall asleep
in the jungle

with your shoelaces
dutifully untied

and her hair
unraveling your dreams

to a kiss
of such magnitude

of such
a repugnant dissonance

or a riddle
you heard the answer to first

when she asks you
for the perfect question

a message from Nate @ H_NGM_N

Boys & Girls—

H_NGM_N #6 goes live today!

http://www.h-ngm-n.com

Featuring:

Poems from Katy Acheson • Anonymous • Robyn Art • Daniel Borzutzky • Jessica Bozek • Michael Broder • Laura Cherry • Evan Commander • Mark DeCarteret • Neil de la Flor & Maureen Seaton • Darcie Dennigan • Julie Doxsee • Elisa Gabbert • Matt Hart • Anne Heide • Dan Hoy • Michael Jauchen • Robert Krut • Justin Marks • Clay Matthews • John Pursley III • Mathias Svalina • Joshua Marie Wilkinson • William D. Waltz • Wynn Yarbrough

A special section –THANK YOU, STEVE ORLEN – featuring 2 new poems from
the man, a review of his New & Selected & other contributions by Adrian
Blevins, Laura Cherry, Tony Hoagland, David Rivard & Martha Zweig.

Selection from longer works by Jim Goar, Viola Lee, Brent Pallas & Chris Rizzo.

2 new EP Poets – Philip Jenks & Danielle Pafunda.

Fiction by traci o connor, Jason Ockert & Magdalen Powers.

&

essays & reviews: Tom Dvorske on Anthony McCann • Justin Marks on
Christopher Salerno • Gina Myers on 3 chapbooks • Brett Price on
Richard Meier • Clay Matthews on Ron Padgett & the Postmodern Sublime

All this plus a portfolio of artist Joey Slaughter’s work & some comix
by
Sommer Browning!

http://www.h-ngm-n.com

*

Also today – the launch of COMBATIVES Vol. 1 #3 – a series of exquisite
corpses written by Sarah Lilius & Erin M. Bertram.

http://hngmn.squarespace.com/combatives/

As always, place one paypal order for Vol. 1 #3 & receive 3 copies of the issue.

Because we like you lots & lots.


Thanks,

Nate Pritts, EIC.
H_NGM_N.

got tagged

by craig

rules of this tag is to list 5 unknown factoids about yourself...

1) i watch danger mouse while having breakfast whenever possible.

2) i rock my belt buckle on my left hip instead of front-on 'cause i'm cooler than you and have been since highschool (no offense, you're still pretty cool).

3) i won fourth place in a dog show when i was 9 or 10 or something like that, with my dog denny--a mega-big chocolate lab--who's ashes i have in a cedar box in our living room.

4) i road my bike into a boat (it was parked near the road, not in water) when i was little. i got a black eye and a lollypop shaped like a thumb. ^_^

5) i put holes in socks like it's my job. seriously. ryan doesn't like it when i wear his socks any more.

i tag michelle, ashraf, ozy the man diaz, billy the man mayor of poets101 and russell to the r.

am going on holiday

on my holiday. yes. to Florida for a few days.

if you have a few spare moments, please do indulge in the current issue of the onion union. it's worth a read through at least once. am particularly fond of Ant Sleep, myself.

we could make plans

we could make plans
- and we should -

to visit our neighbors
west of singapore

or build a fort out of
red and blue plastic cups

if you lived

if you lived, a sensible man
with refined, insensible hair

to match and a favorite coat
with not one, but two collars

if you lived, sensible man
i would share my closet with you.

a cup of tea

if you lived in a cup of tea
my meat milk sugar daddy

with heat resistant shorts
and cattle's brands on mugs

pour honey up from outer space
to catch rocket ship sailors

if you lived in a cup of tea
with me and my silver spoon

grains of sugar for teeth
and big pekoe leaf eyes

live happily ever after breakfast
and have a brew before bed

*squee*

i emailed pics of my new bag to ashraf (because he asked and i was going on about it over the weekend) and michelle (because she has one too ^_^ ). i didn't go posting them up here because... well, you probably don't care. ah, but michelle went and put the pics up on her bloggeroo so i might as well lavish in the selfishness of blogdom and *link* to her blog.

How to Give a Cat a Pill

(by ElwoodBluesUK of SAMC2)
this is a response to my telling my friend el, in england, about the episode my mom and max shared. i found it quite funny and thought i'd share with all...

1.. Pick up cat and cradle it in left arm as if holding a baby.
Position right forefinger and thumb on either side of cat's mouth and
gently apply pressure to cheeks while holding pill in right hand. As
cat opens mouth, pop pill into mouth. Allow cat to close mouth and
swallow.

2.. Retrieve pill from floor and cat from behind sofa. Cradle cat and
repeat process.

3.. Retrieve cat from bedroom and throw soggy pill away.

4.. Take new pill from foil wrap. Cradle cat, holding rear paws
tightly with left hand . Force jaws open and push pill to back of
mouth with right forefinger. Hold mouth shut for a count of ten.

5.. Retrieve pill from goldfish bowl and cat from top of wardrobe.
Call in spouse.

6.. Kneel on floor with cat wedged between knees, hold front and rear
paws. Ignore low growls emitted by cat. Get spouse to hold head with
one hand while forcing wooden ruler in mouth. Drop pill down ruler
and rub cat's throat.

7.. Retrieve cat from curtain rail, get another pill from foil wrap.
Make note to buy new ruler and repair curtains. Carefully sweep
shattered figurines and vases from hearth and set to one side.

8.. Wrap cat in large towel and get spouse to lie on cat with head
just visible from below armpit. Put pill in end of drinking straw,
force mouth open with pencil and blow down drinking straw.

9.. Check label to make sure pill is not harmful to humans, drink
glass of water to take taste away. Apply plaster to spouse's forearm
and remove blood from carpet with cold water and soap.

10.. Retrieve cat from neighbour's shed. Get another pill. Get cat
into cupboard and close door onto neck to leave head showing. Force
mouth open with a desert spoon. Flick down throat with an elastic
band.

11.. Fetch screwdriver from garage and put cupboard door back on
hinges. Apply cold compress to cheek and check records for last
tetanus jab. Throw T-shirt away and fetch new one.

12.. Ring fire brigade to retrieve cat from tree across the road.
Apologise to neighbour who crashed into fence while swerving to avoid
cat. Open last pill.

13.. Tie the cat's front paws to rear paws with garden twine and bind
tightly to leg of dining table. Find heavy duty pruning gloves from
shed. Push pill into mouth followed by large piece of fillet steak.
Hold head vertically and pour two pints of water down throat to wash
pill down.

14.. Get spouse to drive you to Emergency Room. Sit quietly while
doctor stitches fingers and forearm and removes pills remnants from
right eye. Call furniture shop on way home. Order new table.

15.. Arrange for RSPCA to collect cat and ring pet shop to see if
they have any hamsters.



How to give a dog a pill:

1.. Wrap it in bacon.

mr.beeblebrox

distant relative to zephod.

mr.beeblebrox is the newest member of the acheson family. he's a three inch pleco with cool stripe effect - they come and go, i haven't worked out what triggers them yet, possibly just camouflage.
am planning on acquiring four tiger barbs a week from today to join mr.beeblebrox in the tank. and am planning on calling them -collectively- the A team ^_^ geekdom all around, i know.

t-rexosaurus

the local waste station
is being protected, don't worry.

the security is tight. with
a mouth full, you can still hear

the growl of the mighty t-rex
as you roll in - in your dilapidated

red pick-up truck - to dispose
of empty paper orange juice boxes and

plastic and styrofoam left overs
from the christmas packages

that you got in the mail by order
thanks to credit cards and santa claus.

rest assured, your junk mail is safe
and your empty whine bottles too -

protected by the meanest looking
foot-tall rubber roto-mold tyrannosaurus

with a deep sea diver between his
mighty paint-chipped jaws of destruction.

spin the bottle

fifteen and you think you know
exactly what you want is her

so you move the bottle after
it's stopped and protested

when called out for cheating
by the one you want to kiss

the one the bottle points to
you said you didn't want to kiss ian

and she believed you and kissed
you almost perfectly with

her perfect lips and her hair
brushing against the side of your face.

peek-a-boo

you can just make out his nose poking out from under the carpet...

the max effect

ryan and i went to philly this weekend past to see ashraf read some of his mighty poetry. we had a fabulous time (thank you dear!!) and got to meet the adorable foxy (ashraf & wojtek's new lady dog friend). it was a rather eventful weekend actually... snuffy caught two mice. one ashraf found dead and one that i took out of snuffy's mouth while it was still wriggling and trying to get away (i think it will be alright). ryan and i had our first taste of proper geno's cheesesteak and tastykakes as well. we visited the new rocky statue...


and saw the Child of Man (with Clive Owen, recommend it). i ate *a ton* and slept lots and overall feel pretty relaxed for having gone away for a few days (despite the 6hr drive there and 6hrs home; thankfully my back hasn't ached at all like i feared it might with all the driving around).

but,

because we were gone for a few days i needed someone to come administer a pill to max. that person was my mom.

unfortunately for both my mom and max, the encounter resulted in my mom having to go to the doctor and is now on antibiotics from the bite max inflicted. they brawled. and max won.

i feel awful that my mom got hurt and that max was so shaken up by it all. my mom took some pictures of the damage... you can't see the swelling, but you can see at least that he drew blood in several places...

so this... a public apology to my mommy (like i said, i really feel terrible for catalyzing the whole thing), to max who i should have known better than to think he'd take anything from someone other than me or ryan, and a thank you to ashraf for a lovely weekend away from it all, for the food and the bed and the fresh set of memories.

the clementine yoyo effect

the clementine yoyo effect


::part one::

a legend begins under our tongues
as we pass flags of nations we trust

(although it was a bit gusty
in morocco today):

the park closes at 1pm -but how?- you muse,
and you conclude,

they must cover it in a blanket -
a death blanket! - you say, and if

one is careless enough to visit after 1pm
they will be cursed by the death blanket.

the curse is death foot,
wherein if the infected kick someone

just the right way, in just the right spot,
just below the nose

then the infected will bring death
to the someone they kick.


::part two::

large girls in black, reading poems.
i am wearing brown.

i am medium and i will not read you my poems.
i will let you read them.

you can imagine them on the green wall
that she brought to our attention.

meanwhile i will wonder
which part you laughed at

and which line
made you smile just so.


::part three::

let's pretend i met you at an art show,
or an exhibit

where your art was hanging
all around us.

you would offer me a clementine
and i would ask you for a sharpie

to write your name and number on
the small orange fruit

for safe keeping or a late night snack.
and on it, because you are the artist -remember-

you write, 'would like to feed you
pekoe tea and german gummi bears some time'.

cat in a bag

max likes sleeping in his newbury comics bag... with his favorite orange ribbon, and you can see two of his almost 40 bottle caps (he collects them)

traded for

can i have a page from your favorite book,
so that i might carry it with me to the top?

and in return i'll give you the flag
that i pluck from the rock of the peek of the mountain.

forgiven

we walked together through midnight
in the cold of january on the coast

and you told me that you liked me and sorry
for making the cat sick by feeding him nutri-grain bars

and sorry for making me kiss you in front of your boss
and for hitting the shopping cart with my car and not telling me

and could you buy me an ice cream to make up for it all?
while holding my hands and keeping me warm and smiling.